When someone is nearing the end of life

Everyone deals with and processes death differently, there’s no right or wrong way to come to terms with the news. Making sense and talking about death is tough but there are several organisations that can help you deal with it during this difficult time.

When a loved one is about to pass, you may want to consider doing something to celebrate their life.

This could take the form of short breaks or outings to their favourite places for instance.

If you’re unsure of what they would like, you may want to ask them, they may have already created a list of final wishes or things they’d like to do before they pass.

You may also consider the ways in which your loved one would like to be remembered after they’re gone.

This can include birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s or Father’s Day, the anniversary of their passing and where to scatter their ashes, if they’re cremated.

You may need to ask your loved one whether they have a will, this will help determine what happens with their possessions, money and property after they pass; this is called the ‘estate’.

• If your loved one has a will, you should ask whom the executor is and where it is being kept for when the time comes. You may want to also ask if they’re happy with the current terms.
• If your loved one doesn’t have a will, you may ask if they’d like to make one. This will make it easier when the time comes to fulfil all their wishes. If they don’t have a will and they pass, their ‘estate’ will be shared as defined by the law.

Not everyone may express their wishes for their funeral in advance, so this allows you to find out exactly what they want. This can include anything from whether they’d prefer a cremation or burial, to favourite places to drive past on the procession or type of funeral service.

Some other things to think or talk about could include:

• Music to be played during the service
• Cars i.e. limousines to transport family members
• Flowers or donations
• Charity, if donations are preferred
• Clothes for the person to be dressed in
• Jewellery and whether this will remain on or be returned to the family after the funeral
• Catering – Somewhere for the mourners to go after the service
• Family pall bearers

You should sit down with your loved one and ensure you write down everything they want; this may make planning the funeral a little easier when the time comes.

It is important to know that you don’t need to have decided on any of the points mentioned above and they are only listed if you feel ready to start thinking or talking about the funeral. Our highly trained funeral personnel are here to advise and support you through all the necessary decisions and most of the families we meet have not previously decided on any aspects of the funeral.

We will ensure that any decisions you make that have a financial implication, you will be made fully aware of before committing to it. An estimate of costs is provided to you upon making the funeral arrangements and you are at liberty to change those instructions should you reconsider your preferences.

When you hear the news that someone you love is going to pass away, it can be a difficult time. You may be tasked with telling other friends and family members, which can cause extra stress and worry.

There’s no right time to give the news, so you should do it as soon as you feel comfortable and ready.

Telling others may help release the burden and help you cope, share your feelings and allow others to help you deal with grief. Who you should tell will depend on the wishes of your loved one.

Some guidance on talking to friends and family

For when you are ready to read further.